One day my dad asked me what MILF meant.
Walking into a room with five guys and after 10 minutes realizing your brother is the only one you haven't had sex with #wellthisisawkward
Sometimes when I'm in the bathtub I turn off the light and pretend I'm in the womb.
So I was studying statistics, and somehow I ended up with superglue on my hands. Life.
I have potato blood in my veins. My life is potato. When working or living, it's always potato. I dream of potato. When you are going to harvest the potato and you know you are not going to see the potato anymore... It hurts.
I really want to write 'omelette du fromage' on my french exam..." #theoriginaldexter
I had a major crush on Brock from Pokémon.
I haven't been hugged since I was 11.
I have a girlfriend but kissed a guy while I knew he was gay. Alcohol really makes life interesting.
I have a girlfriend but Y.L. 'Wil ik wel eens platleggen'.
I hate everyone who already knows they wanna become a teacher in their first year.
I had so much sex (especially oral) with my last girlfriend that I haven't been wanting any sex since we broke up more than a year ago.
During the blok, I need lunch at 12u00 and dinner at 18u00.
Sometimes I take a bath with my 2 goldfish.
I'm afraid my boyfriend likes this page more than he likes me...