Never trust an Eskimo who says: "I'll show you all the corners of the room." It's a trap!
I know I should say thanks to my mom for buying me ice tea, but I don't, just because she bought the wrong ice tea. I feel like crying.
People on average have sex 89 times per year. Tomorrow is gonna be exhausting.
That one f*cking drop that always lands in your underwear when you're done peeing. #justguythings
It surprises me this page hasn't been in the gazet yet.
To my future wife:
When I die I want you to mix my ashes in a doner durum from sultans of kebap, then eat it, just so I could tear that ass up one more time.
I really hate those damn lintjespeople, they always act like they own everything but the only thing they own is their dads clothing style. #pastelbroekjes
I thought "piemelpauze" meant going to the bathroom. So I'm saying this for a week now to everybody. Explains the confused looks I got. #awkward
I'm in my master year and I don't think I ever went to an exam and studied the whole course.
When I watch the cows in the meadow I wish I was one of them. Because everything is better than this.
I reward myself with stickers of disney princesses after studying a chapter.
I just had to sneeze while peeing standing up, the consequences were catastrophic.
During my piemelpauzes, I fantasize about being an explorer finding the foef of Maggie De Block.
I wonder if there are any times on the clock that I have never seen.