So I got this sex doll for Christmas, and my mates dared me to fuck it before 2015. So the 31st of december I arrive at my place and I'm thinking: "Well, let's give this shit a try." So I take the doll with me (mind that it cost like 10 euros, so it's of very poor quality) and I'm trying to fuck this thing, and it just wouldn't work. So I've spent like 5 minutes trying to have sex with a useless sex doll. Anyway, after a while I just gave up and threw the doll outside.

My parents must be so proud. When I went to see my grandmother on New Year's Day, I managed to throw up at the main entrance of the retirement home. At least the whole cafeteria had a good laugh.

The day after a party, I'm online all day long. In case a friend uploads ugly pictures of me.

Whenever a device tells me to switch to energy saving mode because of low battery, I dismiss, because I love living on the edge.

Since I studied microbiology, I'm too afraid to eat random food.

When I'm studying with a cup of tea or coffee, I feel like Gandalf looking up information in his archives about Frodo's ring.

It always strikes me how engineer boys look like they live under the bridges the girls built.

Whenever I see someone and they're like: "Oh hi! You're in 'den blok' right now, aren't you? Shouldn't you be studying?" I just want to give them a high five... in the face... with a chair...

I thought piemelpauze meant cleaning one's room, since it makes me feel better and all the posts mentioned a feeling of bliss immediately following the activity... (non-Dutch speaker obvi)

I once woke up in a bed with four guys. I was the only one that was naked. I still don't know what happened that night.

When I go to an exam, I try to wear the same clothes as when I was studying for it. I believe it helps me memorize my course. #wishfulthinking

I think it's funny when students from VUB try to convince me their uni isn't easier than ours.

My goal during this blok has changed from 'getting good grades' to 'getting at least one confession posted'.

My parents think I study until 10 o'clock every night, while I'm just watching movies on my laptop. They're so proud of their good studentje.

When I open a potteke of yoghurt, I look around to see if I'm in a social environment that allows me to lick the remaining yoghurt on the opening film.