When I watch a movie with my boyfriend, I enjoy just to suck regullary on his penis while comfortably lying on his belly and looking at the screen. I love the feeling of its soft texture in my mouth. I also suck on my banana like on a tutter. Think I got stuck in my oral phase of childhood. #Freud

As a Medicine student, I find it hilarious how these inferior studies berate eachother.

I wasted almost 2 weeks doing nothing, getting all stressed out I am going to fail. Realised today that my course starts at page 5 and page 22 is a sheet with two sentences. There is still some hope.

Sending a dickpic to your girl is fun, except when her little sister is playing a game on her phone...

Best way to study mechanica: Your girlfriend gives you oral, you start making the excercise. If you finish before she finishes you, you've won. If not try over.

Real men eat kiwis without peeling them because they don't mind a little bush.

After a certain amount of alcohol has been consumed at family gatherings, I feel like the most adult person in the room... And I am the one wearing a fucking santa hat.

My mother has a closet filled with packages of spaghetti in case there will be an economical crisis and there will be no more food to buy in stores.

I hate it when you're like studying for hours and then you take a break and then your mom comes in to your room and she's like: "shouldn't you be studying?" and then I'm like "no, I am taking a break" and she is like: "zo gaat ge der nie komen hé".
So Mom, if you read this: stop doing that please.

My biggest fear is that after seven seasons of Pretty little liars, Ashton Kutcher jumps out and says: 'you've all been punk'd by Alison Dilaurentis'.

I told my daddy I would marry a burgie later. His answer: will it be a wortelburgie or a spinazieburgie?

That vertical line of hair on a mans belly is so sexy. #inlovewithsekslijntjes

I'm allergic to textbooks with two different fonts.

Donde, está, la biblioteca. Me llamo T-Bone La araña discoteca. Discoteca, muñeca, La biblioteca Está en bigotes grandes, el perro, manteca. Manteca, bigotes, gigante, pequeño, la cabeza es nieve, cerveza es bueno. Buenos dias, me gusta papas frías, los bigotes de la cabra Es Cameron Diaz.

Bitches be like: not posting ma confessions.